Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash
Your writer’s block may actually be caused by a lack of boundaries. Before you rearrange your whole life to make more time, take a look at your boundaries and how they might be the real solution to your writing struggle.
It’s tempting to blame everyone and everything around you. Your family won’t leave you alone. Your colleague is on vacation and your work has increased. Your boss is demanding. Your friends are always making plans with you. Your garbage disposal needs to be fixed.
Sure, we all know that those things can get in the way.
But the real problem isn’t that people are breaking your boundaries, it’s that you probably haven’t actually set any boundaries.
Know Your Own Boundaries
You can't expect other people to respect boundaries you haven't even defined for yourself. You cannot expect other people to read your mind.
If you’re unsure about when you’re writing or why it matters, it’s no wonder that others don’t understand. When you’re clear with yourself, it becomes a lot easier to be clear with others. Then, you can take actions that show others your boundaries without having to constantly explain or defend them.
Before getting frustrated with others or feeling as if you’ll never be able to protect your writing time, ask yourself:
What do I actually need in order to write? (Ex: uninterrupted time, quiet space)
When do I need to set aside time for it?
Why is this important to me?
Show Your Boundaries with your Actions
A lot of people think that setting boundaries means sitting everyone down and having a long conversation. While sometimes that can be helpful, it is often not necessary.
Boundaries are not just something you say. They are something you live.
When you believe that your writing time matters, you naturally start acting like it matters.
That might look like:
Closing your door when it is time to write.
Turning your phone off so you are not interrupted.
Saying “no” to activities that conflict with your writing schedule, without feeling guilty about it.
Setting boundaries is more about what you do than what you say. Your actions will communicate your priorities far louder than your words alone.
If you treat your writing time like it’s important, people will believe that it’s important.
Who’s Really Holding You Back?
If someone keeps telling you that you cannot write a book, or that it is not realistic, you have a choice to make. You get to decide whether you are available for that kind of opinion. You do not have to argue or explain yourself. You can simply keep moving forward.
Maybe it’s not other people holding you back. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re afraid that if you start, you might fail.
Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll succeed, and everything in your life will change. Or maybe you don’t fully believe you deserve time to work on your dream.
Whatever it is, the only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself.
If your schedule is so packed that you cannot find any time to write, ask yourself:
Are you setting boundaries with your people, or are you always available for their needs first? Or are you afraid to say no?
Are you setting boundaries with your own distractions?
Are you setting boundaries with yourself and your own habits?
Self-awareness is powerful. Now that you understand yourself better, you can take action to set and protect your boundaries.
Protect Your Boundaries
Nobody is going to carve out the time and space for you to write your book. That’s your responsibility.
If you are waiting for someone to give you permission, you could be left with an unfinished book and dream forever.
You have to decide that your dream matters enough to protect it and you have to make space for it. Then, keep making space for it each day.
If you haven’t been setting and enforcing your standards, it’s not too late to start. You have the power to set new standards. Once you start acting like your writing matters, the people around you will start treating it that way too.
