Surrender the writing struggle: Let go to help the words flow

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You’ve been carrying the dream of writing a book in your heart for a while now. Maybe you’ve started it more than once, but then something gets in the way. Resistance shows up. Life gets busy, and the book quietly moves to the back burner.

You might find yourself wondering why you can’t finish the book already.

Subconsciously, you might still be telling yourself a story that’s keeping you stuck, and until you see it clearly and call it what it is, it will continue to block your progress.

Own your truth

If you really want to move forward and finish your book, you have to begin by turning inward and telling the truth. Ask yourself the questions that cut through the noise:

• What lies am I telling myself to keep myself safe?

• What am I pretending not to know, even though some part of me already does?

• What payoff am I getting from staying stuck where I am?

• What has it already cost me to stay in this place?

This kind of truth-telling isn’t easy. It takes courage to confront the places where we’ve been hiding from ourselves. However, when you commit to living in alignment with truth, you set yourself back on the course you were meant to travel. You stop spinning in circles and start stepping into the version of yourself who is ready to do the real work.

Surrender is letting go

One of the most freeing shifts you can make in the writing process is learning how to surrender. That doesn’t mean quitting or passively waiting for motivation, but in the deeper sense of letting go of your attachment to how you think things should go.

To surrender means to release the constant striving, forcing, and pushing, and to instead create space for the process to unfold in its own time and in its own way. It means acknowledging that you are not fully in control and that’s okay.

A lot of the pain we experience in the writing journey doesn’t come from the process itself. It comes from our resistance to the process. We want the words to come faster and better, so we get frustrated and blame our problems on writer’s block. When we finally stop resisting and just allow things to be as they are, our suffering lessens. We stop trying to control the uncontrollable and instead proceed with acceptance instead of judgment.

Allow your creativity to flow

The need for control is often rooted in our ego, which craves certainty, safety, validation, and clear outcomes. But creativity doesn’t live in the ego. It lives in the soul.

Your soul wants to express itself. Your writing doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be published tomorrow or validated by everyone.

Your ego might tell you that you need things to go a certain way in order for you to feel happy or successful. But that’s a myth that comes from believing that your external circumstances determine your worth.

Control was a coping strategy

Many of us developed a need for control as a way to survive early on in life. As children, we may have experienced pain, unpredictability, or unmet needs, and in response, we tried to create a sense of order and safety in any way we could. It could’ve looked like perfectionism or people-pleasing or being afraid of failure.  

But those patterns, while understandable, may no longer be helpful. Control might have protected you then, but it could be strangling your creativity now.

Writing a book is an act of trust. It’s about allowing something deeper within you to guide you, even when you don’t have a clear map. It’s about learning to feel safe in the unknown, and to believe that something beautiful can come out of the chaos.

Write from surrender

The next time you find yourself caught in the cycle of procrastination, self-doubt, or endless rewriting, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:

• What am I trying to control right now?

• What would happen if I let go?

Writing your book is not just about hitting word count goals or checking something off your list. It’s about returning to who you. It’s about reclaiming your voice and your creative freedom.

Are you afraid to share your story?

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You wrote the book. You've brainstormed, outlined, and maybe even edited it a few times. Now, you're feeling stuck. It’s not necessarily because the story isn’t ready, but because you might not be.

If you’re finding every excuse to avoid sending it to an agent or asking for feedback or telling people about it, it’s not because you’re lazy or uncommitted. It may be because you’re scared.

You’re scared of being seen or being judged. You’re scared of what happens if someone actually reads it.

This fear is sly. It could show up in multiple ways, by telling you:

• “I need to edit Chapter 5 again.”

• “It’s not ready yet.”

• “Maybe I’ll take another course first.”

• “Who am I to write a book?”

• “I should clean my house first.”

You don’t have to be fully ready

There’s no magical moment when you suddenly feel 100% confident and fearless. Most authors don’t feel completely ready when they hit publish or send that email to an agent. They just do it anyway.

You don’t have to shout about your book. You just have to take the next small step:

• Share a piece of your writing online.

• Tell people you’re writing a book.

• Research agents or publishers or explore self-publishing.

• Ask for feedback on that draft you've edited multiple times.

Each step proves to your nervous system that being seen isn’t dangerous. It’s powerful.

Stop hiding and share your story

When we say we’re scared to market, sell, or pitch our book, what we’re often afraid of is being seen and heard. A book isn't just words on a page. It’s a part of you, in written form.

And once it’s out there, people can have opinions that aren’t always the nicest.

But someone needs that story and message you’re carrying. And they’ll never find it if you hide behind fear and doubt.

You don’t have to be a salesperson to market and sell your book. You want to reach the people your words were meant for, so let yourself be heard, even if you’re feeling a little shaky and unsure.

If you’re waiting for permission to put your book into the world, this is it.

We need you’re your voice. We need your story. We need you, even if you’re still figuring it out as you go.

Overcome writer's block by setting boundaries

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Your writer’s block may actually be caused by a lack of boundaries. Before you rearrange your whole life to make more time, take a look at your boundaries and how they might be the real solution to your writing struggle.

It’s tempting to blame everyone and everything around you. Your family won’t leave you alone. Your colleague is on vacation and your work has increased. Your boss is demanding. Your friends are always making plans with you. Your garbage disposal needs to be fixed.

Sure, we all know that those things can get in the way.

But the real problem isn’t that people are breaking your boundaries, it’s that you probably haven’t actually set any boundaries.

Know Your Own Boundaries

You can't expect other people to respect boundaries you haven't even defined for yourself. You cannot expect other people to read your mind.

If you’re unsure about when you’re writing or why it matters, it’s no wonder that others don’t understand. When you’re clear with yourself, it becomes a lot easier to be clear with others. Then, you can take actions that show others your boundaries without having to constantly explain or defend them.

Before getting frustrated with others or feeling as if you’ll never be able to protect your writing time, ask yourself:

• What do I actually need in order to write? (Ex: uninterrupted time, quiet space)

• When do I need to set aside time for it?

• Why is this important to me?

Show Your Boundaries with your Actions

A lot of people think that setting boundaries means sitting everyone down and having a long conversation. While sometimes that can be helpful, it is often not necessary.

Boundaries are not just something you say. They are something you live.

When you believe that your writing time matters, you naturally start acting like it matters.
That might look like:

• Closing your door when it is time to write.

• Turning your phone off so you are not interrupted.

• Saying “no” to activities that conflict with your writing schedule, without feeling guilty about it.

Setting boundaries is more about what you do than what you say. Your actions will communicate your priorities far louder than your words alone.

If you treat your writing time like it’s important, people will believe that it’s important.

Who’s Really Holding You Back?

If someone keeps telling you that you cannot write a book, or that it is not realistic, you have a choice to make. You get to decide whether you are available for that kind of opinion. You do not have to argue or explain yourself. You can simply keep moving forward.

Maybe it’s not other people holding you back. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re afraid that if you start, you might fail.

Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll succeed, and everything in your life will change. Or maybe you don’t fully believe you deserve time to work on your dream.

Whatever it is, the only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself.

If your schedule is so packed that you cannot find any time to write, ask yourself:

• Are you setting boundaries with your people, or are you always available for their needs first? Or are you afraid to say no?

• Are you setting boundaries with your own distractions?

• Are you setting boundaries with yourself and your own habits?

Self-awareness is powerful. Now that you understand yourself better, you can take action to set and protect your boundaries.

Protect Your Boundaries

Nobody is going to carve out the time and space for you to write your book. That’s your responsibility.

If you are waiting for someone to give you permission, you could be left with an unfinished book and dream forever.

You have to decide that your dream matters enough to protect it and you have to make space for it. Then, keep making space for it each day.

If you haven’t been setting and enforcing your standards, it’s not too late to start. You have the power to set new standards. Once you start acting like your writing matters, the people around you will start treating it that way too.

Transform into a writer by shifting your identity

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So, you want to be a writer.

Maybe you’ve wanted to for a while, but every time you sit down to write, something gets in the way. Doubt creeps in. Perfectionism shows up. Or maybe you just feel overwhelmed by where to start.

You’re not alone. And here’s the truth: becoming a writer isn’t just about writing more. It’s about becoming the kind of person who writes. That means shifting your identity and your perception of yourself, and letting that new version of you lead the way.

We usually think we need to do a thing (write a lot) to become the thing (a writer). But what if it works better the other way around?

What if you started thinking and acting like a writer now, even if you're still figuring it out?

When you identify as a writer, even before the evidence stacks up, you begin to make decisions from a place filled with purpose, focus, and self-trust.

Start with Small, Aligned Actions

You don’t have to write a novel this month. You don’t even have to write a full page today.

Instead, take small, aligned actions, which are things the "writer version" of you would do:

• Jot down an idea in your notes app

• Write the outline for your book

• Define one character of your story

• Block out 15 minutes to write freestyle

• Read one article on storytelling techniques

• Tell a friend about the piece you're working on

Each tiny step is like casting a vote for your new identity. And with every vote, you reinforce the belief: “I am a writer.”

The Ripple Effect: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Action

When you take even the smallest action, your brain begins to shift. You start to gather evidence that you are the person you're becoming.

This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. You act like a writer. So, you feel like a writer. Then you act more like a writer. It’s a powerful loop, and it starts with one small step.

Think Compound Effect, Not Overnight Success

Ever heard of compound interest? It’s the idea that small investments grow exponentially over time.

Writing works the same way.

You write a sentence. Then a paragraph. Then a page. At first, it feels like nothing. But over weeks or months, those little efforts add up. One day, you look back and realize: you’ve become the writer you used to dream of being.

And you didn’t need to hustle or suffer or change your entire life. You just needed to show up consistently, not perfectly.

Who Are You Becoming?

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Every time you sit down to write (even for five minutes), you’re not just creating a piece of work. You’re creating yourself.

You’re becoming a writer.

So next time you’re stuck, don’t ask, “What should I do?”

Ask: “What would the writer version of me do?”

Then, just do it.

Struggling to become a writer? Maybe you haven't DECIDED yet.

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If you’re having a hard time starting or finishing your book, the first step isn’t finding the right writing software, carving out more time, or learning better productivity hacks. The first step is DECIDING.

You have to decide.

I spent years saying I wanted to write a book. I had notebooks full of ideas and half-written chapters on my laptop. But I hadn’t actually decided to be a writer. I was playing with the idea of writing. I was wishing. Daydreaming. Fantasizing about that author life. Dipping my toe in the pool while telling myself I’d dive in when I had more time.

Guess what? That book didn’t write itself.

And deep down, I didn’t believe I was really allowed to be a writer. I thought I had to earn it. I told people I wanted to write, but then I’d downplay it, laugh it off, or not bring it up at all. If someone asked how it was going, I’d say, “Oh, I’ve been so busy,” or “I’m still brainstorming.” Translation: I hadn’t truly decided yet.

As with anything you do in life, your mindset and energy matter. When you approach writing from a place of desperation such as needing the book to prove your worth or save you, you bring the wrong energy. You’re asking your creativity to solve all your problems instead of letting it flow from a grounded, confident place.

For the words to start flowing, you first have to make an internal shift, not just in your conscious mind, but in your identity. You have to become the version of you who writes. Who finishes. Who is a writer.

A lot of people mistake wishing for deciding.

There’s a big difference between wanting to be a writer and deciding that you are one. Wanting keeps your dream floating somewhere in the fantasy realm, where it is alluring but always just out of reach.

Deciding brings it down to earth. It becomes real and tangible.

When you truly decide, everything that doesn’t align with your decision becomes irrelevant. You stop entertaining excuses like “I don’t have time,” “I’m not inspired,” or “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” Your writer’s block diminishes. You don’t debate whether or not you’ll write. You just do it.

This doesn’t mean you suddenly have ten free hours a day or that the right words magically flow out of your head and unto the screen. But you’ll start thinking and acting in a new way. You’ll get creative. You’ll stop looking for permission and start looking for pockets of time. You’ll treat your writing like it matters.

Here’s a trick: think about an area in your life where you already have developed strong, unbreakable standards.

Maybe you never skip your morning coffee. Maybe you work out four times a week, no matter what. Maybe you don’t let anyone talk to you a certain way.

You don’t second-guess those things. You just live them. They’re part of your identity.

That’s the energy you need to bring to writing. Make it your standard. Your non-negotiable. The same way you wouldn’t argue with someone about why you should brush your teeth, don’t argue with yourself about whether or not you’re a writer. Just be it.

If your friends or family question it? That’s okay. If someone asked me why I brush my teeth, I wouldn’t take it personally. I’d just smile and move on. If my family or friends questioned me about why I don’t take drugs, I’d have no issue telling them that they don’t align with my lifestyle or health goals.

Writing should feel the same. It’s who you are. No explanation needed.

So if you’ve been stuck, spinning your wheels, or wondering why your book still isn’t finished, ask yourself honestly:

Have you REALLY decided to be a writer?
Or are you still treating it like a distant dream?

Because the second you commit fully, you’ll begin to see time, inspiration, and opportunities you never noticed before.

So DECIDE.
You're a writer right now.
Not someday.
Today.

Why you should finally write that book

The right time to write is right now

Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

You were never meant to live a life of constant self-denial  If you feel a pull to write a book, that desire isn’t random. When you put your creative dreams on hold, you’re not just delaying a project. You’re silencing a powerful part of yourself.

If you're working a full-time job or juggling other responsibilities, don’t think of writing your book as a distraction or something to cross off your to-do list. Think of it as a necessity for living in alignment with your authentic self.

Expressing your creativity makes you more you.

It brings you closer to who you truly are, which in turn can make you more focused, more fulfilled, and more successful in other areas of life. Creativity doesn't take away from your energy; it fuels it.

But what about paying my bills? Having a job or any another source of income while writing your book can be a blessing, especially in the beginning. When you demand that your creativity pay your bills, it puts your writing under pressure, which doesn’t tend to bring out the best in creative expression. You get stuck in perfectionism, obsessing over the “perfect” idea, the “perfect” outline, or the “perfect” time. And that’s how books don’t get written.

Don’t think of becoming a starving artist. That mentality doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t help you write. Instead, it keeps you stuck in survival mode, thinking that if you start writing, you won’t have income, so you better not start.

You don't have to suffer for your art. Life isn’t meant to be one long sacrifice. You don’t need to wait 20 or 40 years or until you retire to begin. If you believe your writing dream belongs to some distant future, you’re building internal walls that block you from creating now.

The truth is, writing your book isn’t just about the finished product or destination. It’s about the journey of becoming who you truly are. It’s about stepping into the identity of an author, a creator. When you align with that version of yourself, you stop second-guessing. You stop making excuses. You make a decision and honor it.

So don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for the perfect time, idea, or financial scenario. Decide.

Decide that you’re a writer.

Decide that you’re writing a book.

Decide that you’re an author.

When you commit, your life begins to rearrange itself around that commitment. It’s difficult to argue with a decision that’s been made with clarity and conviction. Start taking action in line with your decision. When you take action, your inner critic will start to quiet down, because you’re no longer living in the fantasy of someday. Your excuses will also dwindle. By making your writing dreams a reality, you’re showing yourself who you were meant to be.

The time to write is now.

Why Kids Should Learn Public Speaking Early—Especially in the Age of AI

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Artificial intelligence (AI) is exciting, a little scary, and changing things faster than ever. Parents and teachers everywhere are scratching their heads, wondering: What skills will actually matter in the future? What jobs will even exist in ten years? Should kids start coding at age five? Perhaps. Should they learn to think, speak, and communicate clearly? Definitely!

It’s true that AI can generate words, but it can’t connect like a human. It can’t tell stories with heart, deliver a speech that sparks real emotion, or persuade a crowd with authenticity. That’s why public speaking is one of the most valuable skills kids can learn, starting now.

Don’t Wait Because Fear Grows with Time

Too many people don’t learn public speaking until high school or even college. I was one of them. As an introvert, I struggled to speak up in class. When job interviews rolled around, I had to scramble to figure out how to communicate effectively. And when I finally stepped into the world of corporate training, I had to unlearn years of bad habits and fears.

So I wondered why I wasn’t taught this earlier. Kids are naturally expressive, yet we wait until they’ve built up years of anxiety before teaching them how to confidently speak. Imagine if kids learned before the fear set in. They’d be unstoppable!

How Do You Teach Public Speaking to Kids? Make It Fun!

The problem is, public speaking is often taught the wrong way—using boring adult-centered methods. We tell kids, “You need this skill because it’s important for your future.” But lthat argument is not winning over a sixth-grader.

So what works? Stories.

For thousands of years, storytelling has been one of the most powerful ways to teach. That’s why I created Super Speaker, a book where a sixth-grader discovers the power of public speaking by taking on the identity of her favorite superhero. She navigates friendships, middle school drama, and self-doubt—all while learning a simple five-step method for becoming a confident speaker. And the best part? Kids learn public speaking from the perspective of someone their age, not an adult lecturing them about job interviews that are ten years down the road.

The Real-Life Benefits of Public Speaking

Public speaking isn’t just about giving a speech—it’s about finding your voice. When kids learn this skill early, they become:
- More confident in class discussions
- Better at advocating for themselves and others
- More comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions
- Stronger leaders in their schools and communities

Plus, they’ll be miles ahead when it comes to future job opportunities. AI might be able to crunch data, but it won’t replace human connection anytime soon.

It’s Time to Give Kids the Tools to Speak Up

In a world of rapid change, one thing remains true: kids who can express themselves confidently will have an advantage. Let’s stop waiting until the fear sets in. Let’s teach them now, while they’re still fearless and imaginative.

The future belongs to those who can speak up and be heard.

Speak Up Early: Why learning public-speaking gives kids an edge

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In the fifth grade, I won the class spelling bee, but I didn’t want to represent my grade in the school spelling bee. Why? Because the thought of speaking in front of an audience made me want to hide under the bed. Fast forward to high school, where I slowly and painfully made it through a speech on astrology (we had to choose a topic on the supernatural). Although I always aced the writing assignments, I knew that my speaking skills needed a lot of work. So, it was a surprise when, later in life I ended up becoming a corporate trainer, speaking in front of hundreds of people in a variety of companies.

However, the path wasn’t easy, and looking back, I really wish I’d learned public speaking earlier.

And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve heard many people say the same thing. Public-speaking is one of the most important skills, but many people grow up without much practice. Just like learning a new language is easier when you’re a kid, learning presentation skills early instead of waiting until adulthood can make a huge difference.

Why should kids learn speaking skills?  

1)     Build confidence: Helps you stand up for yourself

2)     Get People to Listen: Explain an idea in a way that grabs people’s attention.  

3)     Win arguments: Create smart and well-crafted explanations for your views.

4)     Build Empathy: Understand what your audience finds interesting so that you can better connect with them.

5)     Be Creative: Come up with new, fun ways to get your point across and engage the audience.

6)     Develop Research Skills: Practice digging into the facts and details of a topic to get your point across.

7)     Connect with People. In the age of technology and social media, it helps you get more comfortable communicating face-to-face.

8)     Future Work: Be prepared for interviews or to sell your ideas if you start your own business.

Sure, more schools are requiring kids to learn how to give presentations earlier, but it’s rare that a kid will want to work on public-speaking skills for fun. I know that I didn’t! I always preferred a good story over a dry textbook.

That’s why I came up with an entertaining story to teach kids the basic principles of being a successful speaker using the 5 P’s of Presentations.

1) Point

2) Prepare

3) Practice

4) Play

5) Present

About Super Speaker – Coming Soon!

Gia Dorsey is an outspoken, funny, and clumsy sixth-grader, otherwise known as Super She, a TV show superhero alias she gave herself to feel more confident – confidence she needs to save kids from bullies, give a speech, and do the scariest thing of all – start middle school.

It’s not me, it’s Super She, Gia thinks to herself after doing outlandish things such as speaking at a school assembly, pulling a prank in History class, and doing an impromptu cheer at a soccer game. After all, she’s willing to do anything to stop perfectly perfect Cora Dressler from stealing her best friend, Lance Garrett.

But Lance thinks that Cora can do no wrong and is even sure she’ll win the Speech Masters Contest. When Gia’s new friend, Annabelle Hale, enters this public-speaking contest, Gia is determined to help her win. She volunteers to coach Annabelle on the 5 P’s of Presentations and also starts a “little rumor” about Cora.

However, when the rumor spreads like wildfire and risks burning her friendships, Gia can’t rely on Super She’s superpowers. Instead, plain old Gia Dorsey must use her own powers.

This story captures middle school angst in a humorous way and shows that a superhero lives inside each person, but can only be discovered if she’s able to overcome fears and be her true self.