Surrender the writing struggle: Let go to help the words flow

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You’ve been carrying the dream of writing a book in your heart for a while now. Maybe you’ve started it more than once, but then something gets in the way. Resistance shows up. Life gets busy, and the book quietly moves to the back burner.

You might find yourself wondering why you can’t finish the book already.

Subconsciously, you might still be telling yourself a story that’s keeping you stuck, and until you see it clearly and call it what it is, it will continue to block your progress.

Own your truth

If you really want to move forward and finish your book, you have to begin by turning inward and telling the truth. Ask yourself the questions that cut through the noise:

• What lies am I telling myself to keep myself safe?

• What am I pretending not to know, even though some part of me already does?

• What payoff am I getting from staying stuck where I am?

• What has it already cost me to stay in this place?

This kind of truth-telling isn’t easy. It takes courage to confront the places where we’ve been hiding from ourselves. However, when you commit to living in alignment with truth, you set yourself back on the course you were meant to travel. You stop spinning in circles and start stepping into the version of yourself who is ready to do the real work.

Surrender is letting go

One of the most freeing shifts you can make in the writing process is learning how to surrender. That doesn’t mean quitting or passively waiting for motivation, but in the deeper sense of letting go of your attachment to how you think things should go.

To surrender means to release the constant striving, forcing, and pushing, and to instead create space for the process to unfold in its own time and in its own way. It means acknowledging that you are not fully in control and that’s okay.

A lot of the pain we experience in the writing journey doesn’t come from the process itself. It comes from our resistance to the process. We want the words to come faster and better, so we get frustrated and blame our problems on writer’s block. When we finally stop resisting and just allow things to be as they are, our suffering lessens. We stop trying to control the uncontrollable and instead proceed with acceptance instead of judgment.

Allow your creativity to flow

The need for control is often rooted in our ego, which craves certainty, safety, validation, and clear outcomes. But creativity doesn’t live in the ego. It lives in the soul.

Your soul wants to express itself. Your writing doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be published tomorrow or validated by everyone.

Your ego might tell you that you need things to go a certain way in order for you to feel happy or successful. But that’s a myth that comes from believing that your external circumstances determine your worth.

Control was a coping strategy

Many of us developed a need for control as a way to survive early on in life. As children, we may have experienced pain, unpredictability, or unmet needs, and in response, we tried to create a sense of order and safety in any way we could. It could’ve looked like perfectionism or people-pleasing or being afraid of failure.  

But those patterns, while understandable, may no longer be helpful. Control might have protected you then, but it could be strangling your creativity now.

Writing a book is an act of trust. It’s about allowing something deeper within you to guide you, even when you don’t have a clear map. It’s about learning to feel safe in the unknown, and to believe that something beautiful can come out of the chaos.

Write from surrender

The next time you find yourself caught in the cycle of procrastination, self-doubt, or endless rewriting, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:

• What am I trying to control right now?

• What would happen if I let go?

Writing your book is not just about hitting word count goals or checking something off your list. It’s about returning to who you. It’s about reclaiming your voice and your creative freedom.

Transform into a writer by shifting your identity

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So, you want to be a writer.

Maybe you’ve wanted to for a while, but every time you sit down to write, something gets in the way. Doubt creeps in. Perfectionism shows up. Or maybe you just feel overwhelmed by where to start.

You’re not alone. And here’s the truth: becoming a writer isn’t just about writing more. It’s about becoming the kind of person who writes. That means shifting your identity and your perception of yourself, and letting that new version of you lead the way.

We usually think we need to do a thing (write a lot) to become the thing (a writer). But what if it works better the other way around?

What if you started thinking and acting like a writer now, even if you're still figuring it out?

When you identify as a writer, even before the evidence stacks up, you begin to make decisions from a place filled with purpose, focus, and self-trust.

Start with Small, Aligned Actions

You don’t have to write a novel this month. You don’t even have to write a full page today.

Instead, take small, aligned actions, which are things the "writer version" of you would do:

• Jot down an idea in your notes app

• Write the outline for your book

• Define one character of your story

• Block out 15 minutes to write freestyle

• Read one article on storytelling techniques

• Tell a friend about the piece you're working on

Each tiny step is like casting a vote for your new identity. And with every vote, you reinforce the belief: “I am a writer.”

The Ripple Effect: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Action

When you take even the smallest action, your brain begins to shift. You start to gather evidence that you are the person you're becoming.

This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. You act like a writer. So, you feel like a writer. Then you act more like a writer. It’s a powerful loop, and it starts with one small step.

Think Compound Effect, Not Overnight Success

Ever heard of compound interest? It’s the idea that small investments grow exponentially over time.

Writing works the same way.

You write a sentence. Then a paragraph. Then a page. At first, it feels like nothing. But over weeks or months, those little efforts add up. One day, you look back and realize: you’ve become the writer you used to dream of being.

And you didn’t need to hustle or suffer or change your entire life. You just needed to show up consistently, not perfectly.

Who Are You Becoming?

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Every time you sit down to write (even for five minutes), you’re not just creating a piece of work. You’re creating yourself.

You’re becoming a writer.

So next time you’re stuck, don’t ask, “What should I do?”

Ask: “What would the writer version of me do?”

Then, just do it.

Struggling to become a writer? Maybe you haven't DECIDED yet.

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If you’re having a hard time starting or finishing your book, the first step isn’t finding the right writing software, carving out more time, or learning better productivity hacks. The first step is DECIDING.

You have to decide.

I spent years saying I wanted to write a book. I had notebooks full of ideas and half-written chapters on my laptop. But I hadn’t actually decided to be a writer. I was playing with the idea of writing. I was wishing. Daydreaming. Fantasizing about that author life. Dipping my toe in the pool while telling myself I’d dive in when I had more time.

Guess what? That book didn’t write itself.

And deep down, I didn’t believe I was really allowed to be a writer. I thought I had to earn it. I told people I wanted to write, but then I’d downplay it, laugh it off, or not bring it up at all. If someone asked how it was going, I’d say, “Oh, I’ve been so busy,” or “I’m still brainstorming.” Translation: I hadn’t truly decided yet.

As with anything you do in life, your mindset and energy matter. When you approach writing from a place of desperation such as needing the book to prove your worth or save you, you bring the wrong energy. You’re asking your creativity to solve all your problems instead of letting it flow from a grounded, confident place.

For the words to start flowing, you first have to make an internal shift, not just in your conscious mind, but in your identity. You have to become the version of you who writes. Who finishes. Who is a writer.

A lot of people mistake wishing for deciding.

There’s a big difference between wanting to be a writer and deciding that you are one. Wanting keeps your dream floating somewhere in the fantasy realm, where it is alluring but always just out of reach.

Deciding brings it down to earth. It becomes real and tangible.

When you truly decide, everything that doesn’t align with your decision becomes irrelevant. You stop entertaining excuses like “I don’t have time,” “I’m not inspired,” or “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” Your writer’s block diminishes. You don’t debate whether or not you’ll write. You just do it.

This doesn’t mean you suddenly have ten free hours a day or that the right words magically flow out of your head and unto the screen. But you’ll start thinking and acting in a new way. You’ll get creative. You’ll stop looking for permission and start looking for pockets of time. You’ll treat your writing like it matters.

Here’s a trick: think about an area in your life where you already have developed strong, unbreakable standards.

Maybe you never skip your morning coffee. Maybe you work out four times a week, no matter what. Maybe you don’t let anyone talk to you a certain way.

You don’t second-guess those things. You just live them. They’re part of your identity.

That’s the energy you need to bring to writing. Make it your standard. Your non-negotiable. The same way you wouldn’t argue with someone about why you should brush your teeth, don’t argue with yourself about whether or not you’re a writer. Just be it.

If your friends or family question it? That’s okay. If someone asked me why I brush my teeth, I wouldn’t take it personally. I’d just smile and move on. If my family or friends questioned me about why I don’t take drugs, I’d have no issue telling them that they don’t align with my lifestyle or health goals.

Writing should feel the same. It’s who you are. No explanation needed.

So if you’ve been stuck, spinning your wheels, or wondering why your book still isn’t finished, ask yourself honestly:

Have you REALLY decided to be a writer?
Or are you still treating it like a distant dream?

Because the second you commit fully, you’ll begin to see time, inspiration, and opportunities you never noticed before.

So DECIDE.
You're a writer right now.
Not someday.
Today.